Rod and Reel Method May Save International Space Station
Washington, D.C., May 22, 2021 -- A groundbreaking new orbital transportation technique announced by NASA today may hasten the long-delayed completion of the International Space Station (ISS).
Astronaut Chrissie Buglebong attaches prototype rod and reel device during a dry run simulation
Jesus Endorses Obama; Four Horsemen Opt for McCain
New York, February 16, 2008 -- Jesus of Nazareth, popularly perceived as the Son of God, announced his endorsement of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama yesterday during a rare guest appearance on CBS' Late Show with David Letterman.
The appearance was the first time Jesus has returned to earth with the specific goal of endorsing a political candidate, several pundits and religious scholars agreed, and may in fact be the first recorded reappearance ever of the widely admired supernatural entity.
Bush Fulfills Katrina Vow With Trent Lott Porch Sit
New Orleans, August 9, 2006 -- In the catastrophic aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush warmed and reassured the hearts of Americans with the solemn promise that Senator Trent Lott, whose house had been lost in the hurricane, would receive a new, fantastic house built "out of the rubbles", on the porch of which the President would look forward to sitting.
Blair Seeks Ban on Habits
London, December 2, 2006 -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair said today he will seek a ban on all public displays of habits, the traditional garments worn by monks and nuns, calling them "marks of separation".
Titus in a Monk's Habit (artist's impression)
Evidence of a Second, Bigger Bang Discovered
Berkeley, California, February 19, 2009 -- The widely accepted theory regarding the creation of the universe via a single, momentous explosion, the "Big Bang", has been effectively turned on its head. Scientists report new evidence has come to light of a second, more dramatic explosion, that is theorized to have occurred a few nanoseconds after the first one.
Paris Hilton Restoration Completed
Paris, July 12, 2010 -- After many years of neglect and ill use the Paris Hilton is now back in the spotlight once again. The Paris Hilton's management team hopes that the new look and internal enhancements that have been made over the last year will make her something that people will dream about spending the night in once again.
Jacques Baudrillard, the project manager responsible for the Paris Hilton's makeover, said, "We feel confident that that once people see this new Paris Hilton they will say, 'Paris Hilton, now I could have a good time in that,' and then come and stay the night."
Shoplifting Blamed for Federal Budget Deficit
Washington, D.C., April 16, 2010 -- A report by the Government Accountability Office (GAO) has determined that everyday shoplifting is to blame for the bulk of the federal government's projected $434 billion 2010 budget deficit.
Mexican Border Fence Comes Up Short
Mission, Texas, June 19, 2011 -- The Mexican border fence approved by President Bush in October, 2006 is now complete, but accolades for the project are few and far between.
Portion of Mexican border fence
The Secure Fence Act, which was touted by Republicans as a major border security initiative in the weeks leading up to the 2006 mid-term elections, is now viewed by many as a fiasco of the first order.
Digg.com Leaps Into Non-Virtual Worlds With Stickable Digg-its
Spokane, June 9, 2007 -- Digg.com, the popular internet-based social bookmarking and news community, has taken a giant leap forward into "non-virtual spaces" with its launch of Stickable Digg-its™. A joint venture with 3M, manufacturer of Post-it Notes™, Stickable Digg-its aim to move Digg.com bookmarking tools, already ubiquitous on the internet, into the mainstream of the physical world.
Stickable Digg-it™ in action
Copyright © 2005-2505 AvantNews.com. All rights reserved.
Avant News contains satire and other fictional material, provided for entertainment purposes only. Disclaimer. Syndicate. Privacy.
