Los Angeles, California January 15, 2009 -- As the saying goes, "for every good idea there are dozens of bad ideas." Rather than sort through the dozens of bad ideas and horrible inventions released onto the unwary public this year, the Avant News Consumer Advisory Committee along with the Avant News Public Awareness Department put together the following list of the 10 Worst Ideas and Inventions of 2008:

Brockton, MA, March 3, 2011 -- Ham Sandwich Inc. announced today that it has signed a letter of intent to acquire all outstanding shares of common stock of International Business Machines Corp. (IBM) for $63 per share. The offer will be up for vote at a special meeting of shareholders scheduled for April 7, 2011. Should the tender be approved, the purchase will be the fifth major acquisition by Ham Sandwich this year, making it the 19th largest corporation in the world.

Washington, D.C., February 22, 2008 -- An out-of-control American spy satellite that was due to be shot down this afternoon instead plummeted to earth and directly struck the cave hideout of international terrorist Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, killing him instantly, military officials reported today.

“It's what I would call an extremely happy coincidence,” Marine Gen. James E. Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said.

Whitefinger, Antartica, May 28, 2039 -- The second round of Australian nuclear testing is now underway, with the above ground detonation of a 200 megaton tactical nuclear device yesterday evening in the Whitefinger Proving Grounds near the Rumpled Territories of Western Antartica, a spokesman for the Australian Ministry of Defense announced today.