Beijing, March 19, 2010 -- A press release issued by the Chinese government today announced the countrywide implementation of a new high-tech tracking initiative designed to "increase security and prosperity for all citizens of the People's Republic of China." The plan, detailed by Zhou Bo Kai, chief executive of China's Ministry of Public Security, will involve the implantation of long-range, high-frequency RFID devices in every one of China's estimated 1.4 billion citizens over the next 18 months.

San Francisco, CA, March 22, 2008 -- A new CNN/Zogby/Pollsters Club poll of American political polling habits finds that a majority of Americans admit “they do not always lie” in political polls. The results are expected to grant greater credence to the results of pre- and post-election polling conducted during the 2008 presidential election campaign season.

Washington, D.C., March 19, 2013 -- U.S. President Bill Frist, briefing reporters on the status of the ongoing War on Indecent Exposure in the White House Rose Garden this afternoon, said "Significant milestones are being achieved every day, but there's no doubt in my mind this war will be a long one."

President Frist "keeps his eye on the ball" in the War on Indecent Exposure

Fukushima, Japan, April 22, 2011 – The large, Godzilla-like aquatic creature that has appeared off the coast of Fukushima, Japan, was described by Tokyo Electric Power Co. chairman Tsunehisa Katsumata as a ”purely natural phenomenon” entirely unconnected to the ongoing crisis at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. His assessment was subsequently confirmed by Japanese governmental authorities.