Electrolux NannoGoat Bleats it Neat While You Count Sheep

Reno, September 22, 2155 -- The festivities were frolicsome, the conversation frivolous, and as the last of the guests slip one by one through the vapor-lock and into their plasma cubes for the bounce home, the hosts sigh at the hurricane-like swath of residue left by the merriment: glass shards, cracker crumbs, innumerable dribblings of hors d'oeuvres. But do they don decontaminant apparel and reach for broom and dustpan?

Individual NannoGoat (shown in front of a half-inch $500 coin)

Thanks to the new NannoGoat Universal™, currently on display by Electrolux at HomeTech Expo 2155 in Reno, the hosts instead can retire to bed in confidence that their living quarters will be restored to a pristine and gleaming state by the time they wake.

Ten years in the making, the Electrolux NannoGoat Universal™ is a revolutionary new home custodian that quietly, invisibly, and automatically performs all the functions of a traditional vacuum cleaner and mop. Equipped with its own efficient internal bioenergy converter, it never requires charging or emptying.

"It's truly revolutionary product," said Klem Pitrikk, chief of product development for Electrolux. "NannoGoat – the Nanno is a mix of nanny and nano, and the goat just means goat – is amazingly efficient and completely non-discriminating when it comes to refuse removal."

NannoGoat is actually a flock of hundreds of extremely small genetically modified nano-goats -- both nanny and billy -- that have been bred and pre-programmed to perform the full range of small-scale custodial tasks required by the typical homeowner. Each goat is less than one millimeter (0.039 in.) in height. The primary containment unit, measuring a mere two by three inches, is available in three picturesque forms, from Old McDonald's Farm to Igloo, and can be placed on any floor surface within the living space.

"We haven't yet worked out a way for NannoGoat to deal with stairs," said Pitrikk. "That's the product's only limitation, as we see it. So we recommend homeowners buy one flock for each floor of their home."

The containment unit can be programmed to release the flocks of NannoGoats at any predetermined interval, or can be set on automatic mode. In automatic, the unit's sensors will evaluate refuse and foot traffic levels within a 5000 square foot perimeter, releasing the flock as needed.

"Once they're let out, the little NannoGoats will rapidly disperse across the floor and carpeting, consuming any small refuse items as they go," said Pitrikk. "They will happily eat everything from croutons to cigar ends, canapés to carpet samples. Their saliva contains a powerful, forest-scented cleansing agent, so it's like having a vacuum and mop in one, and their tiny hooves have been engineered to soft buffing agents perfect for hardwood floors. When they've determined an area to be spotless, they will gallop back to the containment unit and return to sleep, storing energy for the next task. Excreted waste products from the tiny goats are deposited in a self-compacting receptacle within the containment unit. A typical homeowner will need to empty the highly compressed and sterilized goat offal – a small cube about the size of a lump of Feta cheese, generally weighing 30-50 pounds -- about once a month."

But is NannoGoat silent?

"Virtually completely," said Pitrikk. "They bleat – after all, they are little goats – but due to their scale the noise cannot be sensed by a typical human ear unless you are in very close proximity – within 3-6 inches."

NannoGoat will be available stores starting in November.

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor