In Wake of Dr. Tiller Murder, Pro-Life Movement Sets Up Camp in Pakistan

Waziristan, Pakistan, July 22, 2009 -- After the emergence of a protest vacuum following the brutal slaying of Dr. George R. Tiller of Wichita, Kansas, the anti-abortion organization Operation Rescue led by Troy Newman has relocated to the rocky outcrops of northwestern Afghanistan in order to "refocus" their "pro-life" efforts.

"When Dr. Tiller was murdered, suddenly we had nothing to protest in Wichita," Mr. Newman said. "In a way, sure, we got what we'd been stridently calling for for years, but it didn't really make us as ecstatic as I guess our literature and our cable news network supporters had suggested it would. So we're moving to Pakistan. There's a lot of abortion - baby-killing - going on in the mountains up here, and innocent babies are innocent babies until they grow up, so here we are."

The remote mountain outpost selected by the group, the Waziristan region in northwestern Pakistan on the border with Afghanistan, is reputedly controlled by roving tribes of violently anti-American extremist members of the Al Qaeda organization. It is widely regarded as the hiding place of notorious terrorist Osama bin Laden.

"Exactly," said Mr. Newman. "Even terrorists, you know, get the occasional schtupp between bomb runs. And there's no birth control or family planning to speak of out there - let me tell you, the Taliban have seen to that. Whoa. Mention a condom or a diaphragm, you get your hand chopped off. So you get a lot of unwanted pregnancies, especially from local tribal women who've been raped by the terrorists. We're there to make sure those pregnancies go to term."

According to recent statistics from the Brookings Institution, of any given 100 children born in the Waziristan region, up to 19 will be recruited by Al Qaeda as suicide bombers; four or more will kill their cousin or father-in-law in a sheep-related dispute; seven will kill a sister or other female family member for licentiousness; and half of the remainder will either die of malnutrition or preventable disease, murder someone for ideological or trivial reasons, or be murdered by someone for ideological or trivial reasons, all within the first 25 years of their lives.

"Tragically, many of those who die will leave friends and family behind," Mr. Newman said. "Wives, children, friends, in-laws, colleagues, school friends, etc. So that's tragic. I suppose it's fair to assume Dr. Tiller probably left a lot of friends and family behind, too, when he was murdered. But the aborted fetuses that the unsanctioned out-of-control members of our movement sometimes kill people to protect who turn out to be killers and terrorists don't leave... I mean, the ones who we kill to protect who are terrorists, the terrorists we are who kill to... hang on, I forgot what I was going to say. Don't quote me on that."

Osama bin Laden, reached for comment in his lair in the Waziristan region of northwestern Pakistan, said he "fully supported" the presence of Operation Rescue and offered them "his blessings".

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor