Xbox 360 Now Bundled With Republican Lawmakers
Redmond, Washington and Washington, D.C., February 26, 2006 -- Microsoft Corporation, makers of the game console Xbox 360, announced today the popular home entertainment device will be sold bundled with a share of a Republican United States congressman or senator as part of a special spring "consumer confidence" marketing initiative.
The standard Xbox 360 handset can be used to direct Republican lawmakers' legislative agendas
Shoplifting Blamed for Federal Budget Deficit
Washington, D.C., April 16, 2010 -- A report by the Government Accountability Office (GAO) has determined that everyday shoplifting is to blame for the bulk of the federal government's projected $434 billion 2010 budget deficit.
Big Savings for Military Procurement Using "IKEA Model"
Hampton Roads, Virginia, July 22, 2017 -- US defense secretary Alberto Fulshrop said today that the military's adoption of the so-called "IKEA model" last year has resulted in military procurement savings close to the projected goal of 10%, or over $183 billion. Secretary Fulshrop hailed the program as a "sterling success, and a genuinely fun project for all the enthusiastic do-it-yourselfers in the services."
C17 Globemaster III awaiting assembly at Kirtland Air Force Base, New Mexico
Mexican Border Fence Comes Up Short
Mission, Texas, June 19, 2011 -- The Mexican border fence approved by President Bush in October, 2006 is now complete, but accolades for the project are few and far between.
Portion of Mexican border fence
The Secure Fence Act, which was touted by Republicans as a major border security initiative in the weeks leading up to the 2006 mid-term elections, is now viewed by many as a fiasco of the first order.
Digg.com Leaps Into Non-Virtual Worlds With Stickable Digg-its
Spokane, June 9, 2007 -- Digg.com, the popular internet-based social bookmarking and news community, has taken a giant leap forward into "non-virtual spaces" with its launch of Stickable Digg-its™. A joint venture with 3M, manufacturer of Post-it Notes™, Stickable Digg-its aim to move Digg.com bookmarking tools, already ubiquitous on the internet, into the mainstream of the physical world.
Stickable Digg-it™ in action
God Chimes In On Intelligent Design
Chicago, IL, September 7, 2006 -- The increasingly vitriolic debate between religious conservatives and the scientific community took an unexpected turn yesterday when a voice confirmed to be that of God disparaged the idea of "intelligent design" as "a load of crap".
Study Finds Viagra May Cause Hubris
Brattleboro, Vermont, April 19, 2007 -- A recent pharmacological study conducted by the American Institute for Studying Things Swallowed (AISTS) has discovered a previously unknown link between Viagra use and hubris. According to the study, frequent users of the performance-enhancing drug may suffer from a potentially self-destructive condition characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-worth, an over-estimation of one's personal capacities, and arrogant, potentially annoying behavior patterns.
Expectations Shrinking for Very Small People Project
Salt Lake City, Utah, June 29, 2108 -- A spokesman for the Human Reduction Institute's Very Small People Project announced at their annual meeting today that the group had achieved "only limited success" thus far in their attempts to reduce the size of human beings by 90 percent or more. The project, which has been coming under increasing fire over the past decade, may now be in danger of being scuttled altogether. Representatives of the institute remain optimistic, however.
Bush Kidnaps North Korean Propaganda Dream Team
Washington, D.C., March 9, 2006 -- With President Bush's popularity ratings continuing to break all-time lows in nationwide opinion polls, the administration has taken the unusual step of kidnapping North Korean leader Kim Jong II's world-famous propaganda "dream team" in an effort to reverse the downward trend.
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