Ford Motor Company Preemptively Recalls 6.1 Million 2011 Models

Dearborn, Michigan, August 29, 2009 -- A spokesman for Ford Motor Company announced today the preemptive recall of all 6.1 million model year 2011 cars expected to be produced under the company's flagship Ford brand next year.

The recall, which will affect all new Ford automobiles immediately upon leaving the assembly line, is intended to address "serious production, concept, engineering and safety flaws that we expect to come to light in the recent future", according to the spokesman.

"As part of our continuing Way Forward policy," the spokesman, Philip Vaughn, said, "which encapsulates our commitment to economy, responsibility and quality assurance, Ford Motor Company will preemptively recall every vehicle we plan to produce in the next year. By holding the recall before a single consumer ever gets behind the wheel of one of our cars, Ford is proving its commitment to these important values."

The preemptive recall affects all 2011 Ford models slated for production in 2010, including the Ford Thong, the Ford Downsizer, the gasoline-coal Ford Behemoth Hybrid, the Ford POS, the Ford Bifocal, and the timeless Ford Gelding.

"To my knowledge, this is the first time a major car manufacturer has pulled all its models before the first robot drills the first rivet," Kinky Sherbert, an automotive analyst with the trade magazine Crankcase, said. "It's a smart move. Nothing hurts a brand worse than consumer perception during a recall. By holding the recall in advance, no consumers get involved, and the brand strength is retained."

Mr. Vaughn said the Ford recall affects "certain specific targeted vehicular components of the affected models, including steering, fuel injection, electronics, wheels, chassis, left blinker, right blinker, cupholders, safety glass, climate control, most metal engine parts, upholstery, on-board religious figurines, clutch and gearing, braking, exhaust and security systems, and other components and systems to be announced as developments warrant. Roofs."

"The patented Smell-Star™ vehicular fragrance unit, new to 2011 models, is not affected," Mr. Vaughn said.

According to Mr. Vaughn, the recalled vehicles, after removal of the Smell-Star™ units, will be melted down and recast as an inspiring 3,200 foot metal-rubber-plastic mixed-media statue of Ford Motor Company Chairman William Clay Ford, Jr., to be placed outside company headquarters in Dearborn. 55,000 domestic employees of Ford Motor Company will be cut to help offset the estimated $13.2 billion cost of the recall and statue construction.

"Think of it as a statue of liberty for the American automotive consumer," Mr. Vaughn said.

Ford Motor Company shares closed up 3 1/8th on the announcement.

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor