Ron Paul Sweeps Republican Primary Elections in California, New York
Sacramento, February 6, 2008 -- Republican candidate for president Ron Paul swept the primary elections in several key states on Super Tuesday. The candidate, who despite the support of a fiercely loyal virtual following who, while avid internet users, are generally too young or too anti-government to vote, had been trailing distantly in California and New York polls prior to Super Tuesday.
Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul and his broom.
In Lucky Coincidence, Errant Spy Satellite Strikes Osama
Washington, D.C., February 22, 2008 -- An out-of-control American spy satellite that was due to be shot down this afternoon instead plummeted to earth and directly struck the cave hideout of international terrorist Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, killing him instantly, military officials reported today.
“It's what I would call an extremely happy coincidence,” Marine Gen. James E. Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said.
Bolton Pushes "Balcony Bling" Poverty Plan at U.N. Reform Conference
New York, September 17, 2005 -- U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John R. Bolton is making headlines and ruffling feathers this week with a controversial new poverty amelioration plan he terms "Balcony Bling". Bolton, who had been severely critical of U.N. efforts in most arenas prior to his recess appointment as United States representative to the organization, stresses that he sees the need for radical new approaches to, in his opinion, moribund U.N. activities such as the UNDP's poverty reduction program.
In Surprise About-Face, Bill Clinton Backs Obama
Chicago, February 5, 2008 -- Astounding political pundits from Anchorage to Miami, former president Bill Clinton has rescinded his endorsement of spouse Hillary Clinton in favor of rock star Senator Barack Obama.
The endorsement, which some believe may create friction in the suburban Chappaqua home of Bill and Hillary Clinton, was explained by the former president as "a case of conscience over comfort."
Hillary Vows to Press On in Face of North Carolina, Indiana Primary Setbacks
Raleigh, North Carolina, May 7, 2008 -- Hillary Clinton told a crowd of several enthusiastic supporters tonight, "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead" after early results indicated she had lost the North Carolina primary election to Barack Obama in a landslide, and marginally squeaked by in the Indiana primary.
Bill and Hillary Clinton: (Photo: Daniella Zalcman)
Eternal Cruises Offers Unique Burial Alternative
Tampa, FL, June 30, 2008 -- The small and solemn multitude is clad in traditional blacks and grays, the voices muted, the music played at low volume and in a minor key. But two key factors set this familiar scene apart: enlivening each mourner's respectfully dreary attire is a brightly colored ring of tropical flowers; and the service is taking place on a wharf overlooked by the imposing bulk of one of the world's largest container ships, the 314-meter goliath Thanatos.
Paris Hilton Video Network to Launch Friday
Los Angeles, April 2, 2006 -- Paris Hilton, the well-known heiress and underground internet sensation, announced her new Paris Hilton Video Network will be officially launched Friday. The network will initially be available to an estimated 120 million cable television and satellite subscribers in the United States and Canada.
Ms. Hilton said the network will offer "an eclectic mix of cultural analysis, philosophical and political debate and scientific discovery coupled with an engaging mélange of traditional entertainments including movies, game shows, and situation comedies."
Pentagon Beefs Up Iraq Troop Humvee Security With Baby on Board Stickers
Washington, D.C., November 19, 2006 -- Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman announced today the US Defense Department will begin an immediate security upgrade process for soldiers stationed in Iraq by equipping unarmored and up-armored HMMWV vehicles (Humvees) with heavy-duty "Baby on Board" stickers.
Baby on Board Security Enhancer-equipped Humvee
Serge May Not Be the Final Answer for Iraq, Bush Admits
Washington, D.C., April 11, 2007 -- Three months following his high-profile announcement of new serge for American soldiers in the ongoing war in Iraq, President Bush has now implicitly admitted the inadequacy of the policy by calling for additional fabric shipments to the troubled region.
Portion of the January, 2007 Iraqi Serge
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