Evidence of a Second, Bigger Bang Discovered

Berkeley, California, February 19, 2009 -- The widely accepted theory regarding the creation of the universe via a single, momentous explosion, the "Big Bang", has been effectively turned on its head. Scientists report new evidence has come to light of a second, more dramatic explosion, that is theorized to have occurred a few nanoseconds after the first one.

A team of astrophysicists at the Multidimensional Radio Tintinnabulator in Berkeley, California (MUDRAT) report having observed evidence of a second phase of radio waves in the multi-billion year old background radiation detected from Earth via the recently launched space-borne Magoo Observatory.

"What we've found is reminiscent of an explosive echo, or aftershock, as from an earthquake, although it differs from an aftershock in that the event appears to have been of considerably greater magnitude than the one that preceded it," a representative of the astrophysicist team explained. "We're dubbing it The Loud Encore, for now, although CalTech is lobbying to name it The Expansive Afterpop. Ours has a lot more zip."

Stranger still, the Berkeley team reports, is initial evidence of what may be a third blast some milliseconds following the second. While the evidence is still scant, the team hypothesizes that what they've discovered so far could be only the tip of the universal iceberg.

"It's beginning to look as though the universe may have been formed not by a single blast, nor two, but by what may be described as a possibly infinite series of expanding hiccups. Each event's magnitude may be larger than the last, but, due to the increased size of the enclosing area, the heat and shock wave dispersion over both space and time causes them to be perceived as smaller. The time scale between blasts, we think, also increases following each successive event. Thus the third blast – which hasn't been empirically substantiated yet, but which we're fairly confident occurred – happened several milliseconds after the second. The hiatus duration appears to expand logarithmically, while the magnitude increase appears to be linear."

This theory could have substantial implications on the still unsolved question of what initiated life on Earth. If the blasts are still occurring, a more recent one could have been responsible for sparking the conditions that led to the formation of the first eukaryotic cells, the precursors to everything that subsequently evolved into elephants, human beings, arachnids, etc. A later blast in the cycle could have been responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs.

"More recent 'hiccups' would be substantially dissipated over the now rather large universe," said a Berkeley team member, "but the effect would still be considerable – quite possibly catastrophic for most forms of life on the planet, including 'Survivor' contestants."

The observatory hopes to collect firmer evidence of the "hiccup" theory during the course of this year, and expects to be able to predict the approximate time frame for the next blast – which could occur anytime between the next few months and the next 500 million years, if it occurs at all – by the end of this year.

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor