Priest Caught Selling Absolution on eBay

Bronx, New York, May 12, 2009 -- A Catholic priest from the Norwood neighbourhood of Bronx, New York, has been charged with selling absolution via an account on eBay, the popular online auction website.

An example of Father Butler's laminated absolution cardAn example of Father Butler's laminated absolution card

Adoption of Homeless Win-Win For All

New York, NY, February 9, 2011 -- Eleanor Rosenblad sits in her spacious six room Upper East Side apartment sipping tea while her homeless companion Larry Corbett plays with a squeaky gun toy on the floor. "It really does feel fulfilling to be in a position to help people whilst getting something back," Eleanor says, reaching over to rub Larry's head affectionately. Eleanor and Larry are two of many that have found companionship as a solution to the increasing population of homeless and destitute throughout the city.

Super Bowl Halftime Show Hits New Low

Tampa, FL February 2, 2009 -- Despite the NFL having announced in 2004 that MTV would never be involved in another Super Bowl Halftime Show, NFL officials allowed MTV "to bear it all" as producer of this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show. And bear it they did! Thereby demonstrating once again that never is not a long time in the the world of sports, entertainment and, least of all, business.

Pam Anderson Out-Pumps Arnold Schwarzenegger in California Governor Race

Sacramento, November 7, 2006 -- Pamela Anderson, the popular former Baywatch star, swimwear model, sex symbol and internet vacation video sensation, has trumped former body-builder and action movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger in the hotly contested race for governor of California.

Governor-elect Pamela AndersonGovernor-elect Pamela Anderson

Olympic Committee Says "Bring On The Drugs"

Singapore, August 29, 2011 -- Lorene Konigsburg, press spokesperson for the International Olympic Committee, announced today a significant change in IOC policy regarding "doping", the use of performance-enhancing drugs by athletes. Beginning with the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, there will no longer be any restrictions on the use of such drugs.

The policy shift, inspired in part by the increasing difficulty in detecting incidents of doping, is intended to help restore equality and a sense of excitement and competition to the games.

Greenpeace Renounces Nonviolence

Amsterdam, June 19, 2010 -- Greenpeace, the activist group known for its risky, but non-combative, worldwide efforts to protect the environment, declared today it has officially renounced non-violent tactics.

The Terminal Avenger, now with torpedoesThe Terminal Avenger, now with torpedoes

The act is seen as a reaction to an increasingly hostile activist environment that has frequently pitted Greenpeace in one-sided violent confrontation against both anti-environmentalist corporate interests and the often corrupt governments that support them.

Maine Voters Outlaw Homo Sapiens Marriage in Referendum

Bangcock, Maine, November 5, 2009 -- A coalition of apparently easily confused Maine voters last night voted overwhelmingly, by a ratio of 50.24 to 49.86 percent, a new state law, titled "The Defense of Marriage Act", to "prohibit Homo sapiens marriage as well as to retroactively render null and void any previously codified unlawful marriages between consenting Homo sapiens that may have shamefully taken place up to and including the date of the final vote tally."

GM Reveals the 2011 HUMMER Wee

Los Angeles, November 22, 2009 -- Ailing automaker GM revealed a radical new direction for its troubled HUMMER brand with the launch today of the HUMMER Wee at the 2009 Los Angeles Auto Show.

2011 HUMMER Wee2011 HUMMER Wee

The HUMMER Wee, according to GM spokesman Putney Shiphlick, "provides a winning combination of old-time machismo and trendy modern environmental do-gooderism".

Study Finds Less to be Less, Not More, Than More

Sioux City, Iowa – March 29, 2019 – A three-year study performed by the respected Group for the Logical Reassessment of Paradoxical Phraseology (GLIBB) in Sioux City, Iowa has revealed that less is in fact less, rather than more, than more.

Van Gogh self-portrait: "lessened" versionVan Gogh self-portrait: "lessened" version

The determination is expected to have a wide-reaching impact on the manufacture and distribution of homely aphorisms throughout the American Midwest, a $3 billion a year industry.

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