Berkeley, California, February 19, 2009 -- The widely accepted theory regarding the creation of the universe via a single, momentous explosion, the "Big Bang", has been effectively turned on its head. Scientists report new evidence has come to light of a second, more dramatic explosion, that is theorized to have occurred a few nanoseconds after the first one.

Los Angeles, November 22, 2009 -- Ailing automaker GM revealed a radical new direction for its troubled HUMMER brand with the launch today of the HUMMER Wee at the 2009 Los Angeles Auto Show.

2011 HUMMER Wee

The HUMMER Wee, according to GM spokesman Putney Shiphlick, "provides a winning combination of old-time machismo and trendy modern environmental do-gooderism".

Indianapolis, IN - December 22, 2006 -- After trouncing all the opponents on their schedule this year, the Indianapolis Colts are doing their best to get over the recent kidnapping of their Pro-Bowl quarterback Peyton Manning and are continuing their quest to complete the season at a perfect 16-0.

Washington, D.C., February 2, 2009 -- A mere two weeks into her tenure, President Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced a sweeping roundup of illegal enemy combatants, the first step in a comprehensive program designed to protect the American people from potential terrorist activities.

In accordance with the Military Commissions Act of 2006, the nearly one million detainees will be held indefinitely without trial or recourse to legal counsel until such time as the President determines they no longer pose a threat to the United States and its allies.