Mel Gibson to Change Name from Mel Gibson to Mel Gibson

Hollywood, California, March 12, 2007 -- Mel Gibson, the Hollywood superstar whose characteristically anti-Semitic remarks caused a media frenzy last summer, announced he will be changing his name from Mel Gibson to "Mel Gibson" as an act of atonement.

The artist formerly known as "Mel Gibson", now to be referred to as "Mel Gibson"The artist formerly known as "Mel Gibson", now to be referred to as "Mel Gibson"

Windows Vista Startup Music Designed on Macs

Seattle, February 27, 2007 -- Microsoft Corporation refused to comment today on the embarrassing revelation that the new Windows Vista "startup music", the musical vignette that is played to calm and distract users while waiting for the operating system to boot up, was created exclusively on Apple computer systems.

Windows Vista logoWindows Vista logo

The inflammatory tidbit was reportedly let slip during an off-the-record interview of a composer on the 20-member team that worked for 18 months to create the harmonic snippet.

Theater Review: Bill Frist Dazzles in "Clairvoyant"

New York, October 2, 2010 -- The surprisingly versatile physician and former senator Bill Frist, making his Broadway debut, stars in an inspired one-man show here at the 47th Street Theater. "Clairvoyant" is the tale of a man beset by demons, a singularity of senses torn to tatters by pugnacious persecutors, who triumphs against the odds with the inspiring resolve and stamina of a dung beetle carrying an elephant's offal on his head.

South Carolina Pumpkin Farmer Grows World's Smallest Pumpkin

Hephzibah, South Carolina, October 30, 2007 -- A Hephzibah, South Carolina pumpkin farmer wins this year's annual "World's Smallest Pumpkin" contest with a record-small 0.23 inch (0.5842 cm) diameter, perfectly formed miniature example of the popular pulpy orange Halloween seasonal fruit.

Ozzie Crenshaw's World's Smallest PumpkinOzzie Crenshaw's World's Smallest Pumpkin

The farmer, Ozzie Crenshaw, said he was "real excited" to have captured the grand prize at this year's prestigious event.

Taliban Strengthen Grip on People's Republic of South Dakota

South Dakota-Nebraska Border Region, July 19, 2011 -- According to a classified report leaked by the Department of Homeland Insecurity, elements of the radical fundamentalist Taliban are reported to have gained significant ground in the rocky and windswept hillsides of the breakaway Democratic People's Republic of South Dakota.

Breakaway Democratic People's Republic of South DakotaBreakaway Democratic People's Republic of South Dakota

Bush Backs Investment Banker Bonus Bailout In Wake of Subprime Crisis

New York, December 7, 2007 -- President George W. Bush called today for Congress to address a "growing crisis in investment banker bonuses" in the wake of the subprime mortgage disaster.

President Bush speaking at AAWP annual Christmas dinnerPresident Bush speaking at AAWP annual Christmas dinner

Super Bowl Halftime Show Hits New Low

Tampa, FL February 2, 2009 -- Despite the NFL having announced in 2004 that MTV would never be involved in another Super Bowl Halftime Show, NFL officials allowed MTV "to bear it all" as producer of this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show. And bear it they did! Thereby demonstrating once again that never is not a long time in the the world of sports, entertainment and, least of all, business.

German Greens See Red Over Autobahn Sale

Stuttgart, December 29, 2008 -- German environmentalists are up in arms after the disclosure today of the sale by Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel of the Autobahn, the country's famed high-speed highway network, to an investment coalition headed by several prominent OPEC nations including the Republic of Saudi Arabia.

The step is one of many moves toward privatization by the fragile coalition government headed by Merkel that is now being hotly disputed by members of the more liberal Social Democrat coalition members due to what have been termed the "insane conditions" of the sale.

Wing-Clipped NASA to Launch Wal-Mart Budget Spacecraft

John F. Kennedy Space Center, Florida, October 12, 2006 -- Facing what may be the worst fiscal shortfall in the space agency's history, a spokesman for NASA today announced a plan to resort to the extreme cost-saving measure of acquiring most future spacecraft from budget retailer Wal-Mart. An initial consignment of six "Econo-Capsules" purchased by NASA via the Wal-Mart e-commerce website at a cost of $29.95 each (plus shipping and handling), is slated for delivery this December.

Wal-Mart Econo-CapsuleWal-Mart Econo-Capsule

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