Los Angeles, June 12, 2009 -- Jennifer Aniston reportedly broke wind last Thursday shortly after completing an afternoon snack that may have included rice crackers and cottage cheese, leading to speculation that the highly visible television and film actress may break wind again at some point in the near or distant future. An unidentified companion who was observed dining with Jennifer Aniston at the time did not react visibly to the occurrence. Jennifer Aniston was unavailable for comment on this dramatic bombshell.

Washington, D.C., November 26, 2005 -- Republican proponents of the USA Patriot Act are proposing a new provision they say will provide a fiscal silver lining to the controversial surveillance measure, but some privacy advocates are up in arms about what they see as an intolerable intrusion on privacy and civil liberties.

Oak Brook, IL, March 16, 2010 -- McDonald's, the globe-girdling fast food purveyor that has been criticized for peddling consumers consistently unhealthy food, announced yesterday its intention to begin offering "healthier choice" sun-dried alternatives. A spokesman for McDonald's said the company will be rolling out the sun-dried products in a selected range of major market areas during a preliminary testing phase, with worldwide adoption to follow.

Collection of McDonald's sun-dried hamburgers awaiting the fryer

Hampton Roads, Virginia, July 22, 2017 -- US defense secretary Alberto Fulshrop said today that the military's adoption of the so-called "IKEA model" last year has resulted in military procurement savings close to the projected goal of 10%, or over $183 billion. Secretary Fulshrop hailed the program as a "sterling success, and a genuinely fun project for all the enthusiastic do-it-yourselfers in the services."

C17 Globemaster III awaiting assembly at Kirtland Air Force Base, New Mexico