Treasury Sec. Paulson Calls Chain Letter, Lotto Buyback Cures to Deficit Woes

Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008 -- Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr., speaking at the annual meeting of the Conservative Economists' Union, today outlined a plan to alleviate the Bush administration's record federal deficit through "government chain letters and Lotto buyback initiatives".

Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr.Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr.

Ecuadorean Peasant Named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive

Los Angeles, November 14, 2011 -- A previously unknown peasant from the remote hillsides of northern Ecuador, Jorge Rafael Montalvo, has been selected as People's Sexiest Man Alive 2011, a spokesman for the popular human-interest magazine announced today. A stunned and disoriented Mr. Montalvo was revealed to members of the press during a gala celebration in his honor tonight in Los Angeles.

EcuadorEcuador

Time is Accelerating, Study Finds

London, November 29, 2010 -- Do simple things like tying your shoes, brushing your teeth or sitting through someone else's wedding seem to take longer than they once did? Do you generally wake up in the morning feeling cranky and bleary-eyed rather than refreshed and well-rested? Do vacations seem to flit by like a millisecond-long, scarcely remembered dream?

China First With Citizen RFID Implants

Beijing, March 19, 2010 -- A press release issued by the Chinese government today announced the countrywide implementation of a new high-tech tracking initiative designed to "increase security and prosperity for all citizens of the People's Republic of China."

The plan, detailed by Zhou Bo Kai, chief executive of China's Ministry of Public Security, will involve the implantation of long-range, high-frequency RFID devices in every one of China's estimated 1.4 billion citizens over the next 18 months.

iPlant Upgrades to 2 Terabytes With WhiteTooth

Dallas, TX, August 11, 2011 -- Applesoft Corporation announced yesterday at BodyTech 2011 that it will be upgrading its popular iPlant multimedia product with an additional terabyte of storage, doubling its capacity to two terabytes. Customers will now have enough capacity to internally view over 22,000 hours of high-quality full-motion films, or listen to over 11 years worth of recorded music, all from the privacy of their own mouths and without requiring additional external connectivity.

President Bush Details Plans for War on Poverty

Wakaya Island, Fiji, April 22, 2006 -- President Bush unveiled sweeping plans for a new "War on Poverty" at a gala $50,000 per couple Republican fundraiser held this weekend at Fiji's stylish Wakaya Club, one of the world's most exclusive beach resorts.

The goal of the poverty initiative, according to Bush, is "to wipe poverty off the face of America within 10 years", an objective embraced by liberals and conservatives alike.

Barack Obama Tops the Charts

Los Angeles, March 14, 2008 -- It is nothing new for popular musicians to throw their support behind a presidential candidate. Waldo Brumholder and the Whigettes were on the campaign trail for President William Henry Harrison. Frank Sinatra crooned for President John F. Kennedy. Toby Keith wailed in his own patriotic way for President George W. Bush in 2004. However, none of these examples can compare to the massive outpouring of support provided to Barack Obama in his 2008 bid for the presidency.

Bush Backs Investment Banker Bonus Bailout In Wake of Subprime Crisis

New York, December 7, 2007 -- President George W. Bush called today for Congress to address a "growing crisis in investment banker bonuses" in the wake of the subprime mortgage disaster.

President Bush speaking at AAWP annual Christmas dinnerPresident Bush speaking at AAWP annual Christmas dinner

US Open Triples Tennis Debut Reviews Mixed

Flushing, NY, September 4, 2014 -- The worldwide premier for professional triples tennis at this year's US Open tournament received mixed reviews from veteran players and commentators, but the overall audience impression was positive. First Round Match 1 in Men's Triples went as predicted, with an easy 6-0, 6-1, 6-1 defeat by favored Andy Roddick, Juan Carlos Ferrero and Rafael Nadal over unseeded players Micael Ivanonavov, Eiliat Prokotoftin and Silininorev Tjuk.

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