Washington, D.C., March 19, 2013 -- U.S. President Bill Frist, briefing reporters on the status of the ongoing War on Indecent Exposure in the White House Rose Garden this afternoon, said "Significant milestones are being achieved every day, but there's no doubt in my mind this war will be a long one."

President Frist "keeps his eye on the ball" in the War on Indecent Exposure

Sacramento, February 6, 2008 -- Republican candidate for president Ron Paul swept the primary elections in several key states on Super Tuesday. The candidate, who despite the support of a fiercely loyal virtual following who, while avid internet users, are generally too young or too anti-government to vote, had been trailing distantly in California and New York polls prior to Super Tuesday.

Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul and his broom.

Washington, D.C., July 19, 2007 -- A coalition of American conservatives led by Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, Dr. James Dobson and Newt Gingrich issued yesterday the "Don't Kill Me" Canon, intended to crystallize some of the right wing's often incompatible moral imperatives into a simple, easy-to-remember catch-phrase, "Don't Kill Me". The Canon seeks to provide an consistent ethical foundation for the right wing's various positions on the death penalty, abortion, euthanasia and preemptive warfare.

New York, March 12, 2007 -- Rush Limbaugh, the well-known syndicated right-wing radio "dissonance-jockey" and top cheerleader for the ongoing Iraq war, has volunteered to serve an initial 12-month tour of active combat duty in Iraq.

Private Limbaugh's Armored Combat Winnebago