Pat Robertson
Gay Anti-War Immigrant Shoots Friend of Vice President Dick Cheney
Armstrong, Texas, February 15, 2007 -- A gay immigrant anti-war activist hunting together with Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly shot and seriously wounded a member of their party earlier this week in what has been termed an "alleged hunting accident".
28-gauge Perazzi shotgun similar to the one used by Mr. Thimbles to shoot Vice President Cheney's friend Harry Whittington
Pat Robertson Vaporized By Asteroid Apophis
Lexington, Virginia, April 13, 2029 -- Pat Robertson, the aging former televangelist and radical Christian conservative, was struck and killed today by the widely-feared Apophis asteroid in a freak accident veteran observers are terming "an act of God".
God's Green Acres nursing home, Lexington, Virginia (after Apophis asteroid impact)
Pat Robertson Retracts God's Wrath Statement on Dover, Pennsylvania School Board
Dover, Pennsylvania, November 14, 2005 -- Pat Robertson, the conservative Christian broadcaster and popular right-wing resident loon, today retracted comments he had made last week on his "700 Club" program warning the citizens of Dover, Pennsylvania that they "better not go crying to God if disaster strikes".
Pat Robertson: Pat Robertson calling down God's wrath on Dover, PA, for rejecting creationism, a.k.a. "intelligent design"
Rush Limbaugh Abducted by Dung Beetles, Presumed Eaten
New York, July 29, 2007 -- Rush Limbaugh, the widely distributed right-wing radio and television commentator, was apparently abducted by a large swarm of dung beetles from his Manhattan studios yesterday. The abduction interrupted Limbaugh's regular afternoon live radio broadcast, resulting in several minutes of dead air which were subsequently filled by a Pat Robertson "700 Club" rebroadcast suggesting gays in the military should be used for target practice.
Rush Limbaugh, Dung Beetle (left, right)
No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge Signers In Right to Die Dilemma
Washington, D.C., June 29, 2007 -- Several of the small group of stem cell research opponents who signed the controversial "No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge" last fall are now embroiled in a legal dilemma since contracting various terminal diseases, all of which can be easily cured using medical procedures developed through embryonic stem cell research.
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