Washington, DC March 12, 2007 -- As Gov. Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee (DNC), and his staff looked through the results from the 2006 midterm elections and compared them to entrance and exit polls it became apparent that something wasn't right with this election. Once again, the Republicans overcame the odds and handed the Democrats a startling defeat in their bid to gain the majority in Congress.

Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge, Florida, January 31, 2008 -- One-time Republican presidential frontrunner and former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani issued a heartfelt and occasionally tear-filled appeal to leading Republican candidates John McCain and Mitt Romney for “a little bit of freaking attention” following his unimpressive 13% showing in yesterday's Republican primary election in Florida.

Brattleboro, Vermont, April 19, 2007 -- A recent pharmacological study conducted by the American Institute for Studying Things Swallowed (AISTS) has discovered a previously unknown link between Viagra use and hubris. According to the study, frequent users of the performance-enhancing drug may suffer from a potentially self-destructive condition characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-worth, an over-estimation of one's personal capacities, and arrogant, potentially annoying behavior patterns.