Bush Finds Iraq Exit Strategy in Crawford Dungarees
Washington, D.C., December 22, 2005 -- President Bush startled lawmakers and reporters yesterday by announcing that he had found his Iraq exit strategy in the back pocket of a pair of dungarees the president normally uses while working off steam by clearing brush on his Crawford, Texas estate.
Bush's Iraq Exit Strategy
McDonald's Launches the McCockroach
Oak Brook, Illinois, April 12, 2096 -- McDonald's restaurants, responding to customer demand for healthier and more varied cuisine, have announced a new assortment of culinary selections, the McCockroach Collection.
New McDonald's McCockroach Big Bug Bite
The McCockroach will be test-launched at select franchises in three major metropolitan areas over the next five weeks, to be followed by a nationwide rollout heralded by an unprecedented 12-media crossover advertising campaign.
President Bush's State of the Union Address Unusually Frank, Honest
Washington, D.C., January 24, 2007 -- The State of the Union address delivered by President George W. Bush last night was marked by a dramatic departure from the accustomed norm of trumpeting exaggerated successes and presenting a tepid laundry list of future initiatives.
President Bush presents his 2007 State of the Union address
Washington observers believe the new direction for the State of the Union may be due to the failure of the poorly-received 2006 address to boost Bush's stagnant poll numbers.
Alabama Governor Riley Asks Citizens to Curse Drought
Montgomery, Alabama, August 2, 2007 -- Alabama Governor Bob Riley, who led a successful if short-lived effort to alleviate Alabama's water shortages through a government-sponsored state-wide "Pray for Rain" campaign in July, is now urging Alabamians to increase pressure on the heavenly potentate with a newly proclaimed "Curse Drought" initiative.
Alabama Governor Bob Riley (Rep.)
Indianapolis Colts' Undefeated NFL Season Questionable
Indianapolis, IN - December 22, 2006 -- After trouncing all the opponents on their schedule this year, the Indianapolis Colts are doing their best to get over the recent kidnapping of their Pro-Bowl quarterback Peyton Manning and are continuing their quest to complete the season at a perfect 16-0.
White House to Name Czar Czar
Washington, D.C., June 12, 2009 -- Responding to growing public dissatisfaction with the administration of President Mayor Rudy Giuliani, the White House announced today the imminent appointment of a Czar Czar who will personally oversee and take charge of all of the administration's smaller, task-targeted czars.
President Mayor Rudy Giuliani at Inauguration Day After-party
Creationist Paleontologists Discover Dinosaur Saddle
Mud Flaps, Arizona, March 29, 2006 -- A team of creationist paleontologists from the Discovery Institute's main field research arm announced today that they had discovered the remains of a large manmade object confirmed to be an ancient dinosaur saddle.
Dinosaur saddle discovered by Discovery Institute paleontological expedition near Mud Flaps, Arizona
Kansas Education Board Touts Flat Earth Curriculum
May 11, 2006 -- The Kansas Education Board, which gained new momentum in its efforts to "de-emphasize" rational scientific inquiry after a decision last November requiring Kansas teachers to define the widely accepted theory of evolution as "godless Communist propaganda" in favor of creationism, also known as intelligent design, is now promoting a full-fledged faith-based curriculum touted by the board as "the One True Way".
Earth (side view)
President Frist: War on Indecent Exposure Will Be Lengthy
Washington, D.C., March 19, 2013 -- U.S. President Bill Frist, briefing reporters on the status of the ongoing War on Indecent Exposure in the White House Rose Garden this afternoon, said "Significant milestones are being achieved every day, but there's no doubt in my mind this war will be a long one."
President Frist "keeps his eye on the ball" in the War on Indecent Exposure
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